Twilight Swag That Will Make You Question Your Sad Existence Without Vampires or Werewolves

It is no secret that I like (love) The Twilight Saga. Yes, I've read all of the books and have had my tickets to New Moon for weeks (months), but listen, I'm not nearly as crazyface (AWESOME) as most of the Twihard community. Do you want to know what separates us, of course other than age, stalking tendencies, violent hysteria, and questionable tattoos? SWAG. SO, just in case you don't spend your free time googling "Edward Cullen cookie cutters" (not invented yet!), I've compiled some of the best Twi-swag actually available for purchase (mockery):

Life-size cut-outs for those not-creepy-at-all fantasies and photo opps, just $34.99 each! I would love to hide one in my bathroom any time friends visit.

Vamp roll-playing get a little out of hand? No problem. Hide war wounds with these babies for just $7.99 at Borders.


Help your boyfriend actually BECOME Edward (haha, like any of us have real life boyfriends) with an OFFICIAL Forks High Student I.D. and, um, the License to Bite that every vamp carries? Only $1 EACH!

 

Never get lost again trying to stalk the set! Keep a map of Forks on you ring for just $6.50.

And my absolute favorite, the Twilight Million Dollar Bill, which magically only costs $1. Just look at the details!! This is art. True art.

Bonus runners up: "I Drive Like A Cullen" bumper sticker & Team Jacob backpack (complete with wolf clawmarks).

P.S. If you're a fan of "the internet" I'm sure you've seen the ridiculous Twilight panties floating around, but here's the thing - THEY'RE NOT EVEN FOR SALE (um, not that I would buy them if they were...), so they didn't count for this list. Sorry to disappoint the creepsters out there.


Leave more fine examples in creativity in the comments! 

Comments

[Julia M.]

I would love to know sales figures for this shit. I mean, I know Twilight girls go crazy, but what kid really has 35 bucks to spend on a cardboard cutout? It's too creepy to think of parents buying it or actual adult fans.

[cindy fox]

let's not forget THIS little gem: http://tantusinc.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TD&Product_Code=VAMP perhaps edward eric draper...i mean...this item here is part of that vamp roll-playing that you'll need bandages for? or just something to aide you as you stare at those delicious cut-outs.

[Yannet R.]

So where would you find this shower curtain? I'm not as big of a twihard as you, but I'd be all over Robert Pattinson like white on rice.

[Ron]

Do they make toilet paper? I think that'd be the most useful.

[D. Hunt]

I have three $35 cutouts in my bedroom!!!! I love TWILIGHT SO MUCH!

[Maternity nursing gowns]

LOVE it! i love twilight and i love Edward Cullen too :D

[Best of Dog Training]

Yeah, I love Twilight too...I'ts perfect!...a very nice and unique movie.

[red cross cna classes]

Je pense que “le contribuable” est rentré là-dedans dans son usage. Il y a aussi l’épithète “moyen”: le citoyen moyen, le contribuable moyen, le travailleur moyen.

Dans un autre genre: le p’tit gars d’chez nous, le p’tit gars d’Shawinigan comme Jean Chrétien aime se décrire.

[Navel Rings]

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[Free Quick Claim Deed Form]

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